If you are looking for love, these three issues may be keeping you from your ideal relationship. I have gone through these experiences in my life and after much pondering over my inner state before and after, here are 3 important ideas that I had to shift in order to allow a healthy and loving relationship to enter my life.

Unresolved emotions from past relationships failures

Looking back at all your past relationships. Have you fully forgiven yourself and your ex(s) for the relationship breakdown? Are there any emotions of resentment that are still resurfacing, no matter how long ago the relationship took place?

All relationships that still bring up emotional turmoil and triggers mean that there are unresolved emotions still left to deal with. No matter how much you want to forget about those relationships, they will keep haunting you in the next relationships and in your dating efforts if you refuse to forgive and bring peace over what occurred.

One of the best read I have found to forgive, no matter how deep you have been wounded, is the book Radical Forgiveness by Colin Tipping. It will also provide you with a practical exercise to review and heal any kind of relationships that are yet to be forgiven.

The forgiving state of mind is a magnetic power for attracting good. – Catherine Porter

One forgives to the degree that one loves – François de la Rochefoucauld

Not allowing yourself to be loved

Have you ever loved someone, only to feel your love not being received or acknowledged? How painful does that feel? Imagine yourself to be that person who repels the love that is being given.

Anywhere and anytime you withhold love from yourself by negating, disliking and judging yourself, you are doing just that. You are preventing love to come in. You don’t get to be selective when allowing love in. You either allow the love in or you don’t. You can’t pick and choose. You can’t refuse to love yourself and allow someone else to love you. It doesn’t work this way.

The degree of love you are willing to feel for yourself is the degree of love you allow yourself to receive from others. By looking for love inside yourself, you may find yourself becoming a magnet of love.

Labeling yourself as single

Anytime you affirm that you are single you anchor this energy in and around yourself. I don’t think any research has been done, so I’ll go with my gut feeling on that, but I am quite certain that women who join groups titled ‘Single and happy’, ‘Single professionals’, ‘30+ Singles’ remain single longer than women who do not see themselves as single and feel surrounded by friends and family no matter what their status are.

The fact is that you are never alone. You are connected to an energy grid that encompasses the whole Universe.

Yes, you may feel lonely at times. Feeling lonely and feeling alone are different energies. When you feel lonely, there is room to do something to turn the feeling around. When you feel alone, you are in a state or powerlessness. Feeling powerless is the worst kind of energy because it is harder to shift. When you feel powerless, you quickly spiral downward and lose hope that you have the power to control your life.

You are a wonderful being learning to feel and work with emotions as a guidance system. By observing what your emotions are telling you, without becoming your emotions, you have access to a powerful system of knowing and creating the life you desire in each moment.

The words ‘I am…’ are potent words; be careful what you hitch them to. The thing you’re claiming has a way of reaching back and claiming you. – A.L. Kitselman

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