You may have heard or read that being accountable to someone can keep you motivated to achieve your goals. However, if you choose to let your goal be known, it is very important that you choose carefully with whom to share it.
Pride can be a virtue (in some case)
Let’s admit that most of us work differently when we have someone watching us and tracking our progress. It’s human nature to choose what is easy and safe. And it’s a lot easier to put in the least amount of effort when no one is watching us. But when we have to report to someone, we are more careful about what we show up. It’s also human nature to be driven by pride. Pride can be a good thing when it’s helping us achieve what we desire.
Having accountability for the steps we take to achieve our goals can help us stay on track. You will most likely experience some setbacks, interruptions, and distractions. Now imagine having to report to someone your progress, how does it feel? Do you feel like having to come up with excuses to someone is more difficult than if you didn’t have to report your progress? Of course, everyone is different. Some people do better with an accountability partner while others don’t necessarily need it.
However, it more than likely that negative self-talk or critique will come up as you are working towards your goal. Chances are, it will come up with a bunch of excuses for giving up. Having someone on your team that believes in you and helps you stick to your plan may be a good thing.
Dynamics of homeostasis
The reality is that everyone has a built-in mechanism to resist growth and change. It requires tremendous determination and persistence to push through that resistance to change. When you share your goals with people close to you and start making progress, their resistance to change will kick-in unconsciously. Even if it’s not them making the change, it threatens the relationship dynamics and subconsciously activates their own fear of success and failure. There is a homeostasis force within circles and interpersonal dynamics that will seek to keep the status quo. Since the mental plane is a force of its own, what others think about you (consciously and unconsciously) can greatly influence your ability to achieve your goal.
Sharing your goal with others is not always a good thing. However, having someone to be accountable to can be beneficial if you feel you need that. Just make sure you choose someone who has your best intentions at heart. It could be someone who is not too close to you, like a coach or a mentor. In that case, you also reduce the chance of having someone envying and resenting you on some level (even unconsciously).
Do you need a mentor?
You may want to reach out to someone who has accomplished more than you and/or who is actively setting and achieving goals of their own. Someone who understands the resistance that comes up during a growth process. You may also want to find a mentor in the field you are engaging in. That person would know the types of mistakes to avoid and may have specific tips to help you grow faster.
However, remember that everyone is unique. Your path shouldn’t be like anyone else. It’s important to always check-in with yourself the counsel you receive and feel if it is in alignment with your Soul.
Who can help you attain your goals? Do you need a mentor more than an accountability partner?